When getting into marriage, many take a vow of sticking with someone for better or for worse. When saying this, many focus on the bad times for instance, during illness, fights, when money is scarce or when one loses his or her job. What most forget is to vow to be a good parent during the good and bad times. Why so? Well, mainly because raising a kid is not a walk in the park but a responsibility that comes with several challenges of itself. So how can one manage to be a good mother?
First, ensure that your kids come first at all times. We get it, you have a job, friends and a husband, but they do not need a lot of your attention compared to your kids. See, kids require you to be present when they need someone to talk to about how their day at school was, how they like a certain boy or girl or even how your kid won an award for being good at something. Your presence makes them feel important.
Second, be your kids’ problem solver and solution giver. Children encounter some of the same problems that grown-ups encounter. The only difference is the level of seriousness the problem requires and the intensity of the problem. As a mother, your kids will approach you to talk about these challenges. It is your responsibility to listen and understand the problem then provide the best solution. As we all know, a mother is always right.
Also and most importantly, show your kids some love and affection. Being called mother is not enough. Your kids need to feel that you love them. They need to know how much they mean to you. This can be demonstrated by telling them I love you every day, spending quality family time together or even being there for them when they need you.
Be the best mother you can be for there is no greater joy than that of your child thanking you for being the best miracle in his or her life.
Am a very cautious person. My kids, mostly Phillip, my firstborn, refers to me as the paranoid mom. I solemnly agree with him. As it was our family tradition, we were to visit Disney land on the 16th of September. For the past few years, I had an easy time. This time, however, I had an undefined fear. However, Bobby, my husband, finally convinced me to bring her along…and I was so delighted that we did!
Among the top rated strollers...
When you are going out with a baby, you have to consider several things. The weather, the luggage, snacks and the comfort of the baby. So on this day we decided to carry the big blue stroller. This was the product that we bought after reading many reviews on the top rated baby strollers.
This was because it had space for snacks, bags and also the toddler could fall asleep on it in case she got sleepy or tired. However, we were forced to fix an umbrella on it due to the scorching sun that the weather forecasters had predicted.
Disney they see is paradise on earth and I do not beg to differ. The place was streaming with families of all races. Sounds of laughter were mainly all you could hear. As usual, Phillip and Jamie started ‘crying’ to their dad so that they could go for a ride on the roller coaster. Who was he to say no? I slowly pushed my stroller to a position where we could manage to watch Phillip and Jamie having fun. To my surprise, Alice was sound asleep despite the noise around us. For some reason, I found myself feeling proud of myself for deciding to use this specific stroller.
Even if you own the best strollers…
In my stroller, I had several bags that were pretty essential. Many people, mostly mothers struggle with how they will carry different bags and not lose track of them especially if they have a toddler. These are several tips on how to get rid of this problem:
1. Pack your valuables in different bags.
2. In bag one, pack valuables like tickets, wallets, phones and even a camera. In a park or in a place like Disneyland, these are the most essential items, thus, when you pack them in one bag, you can easily reach them when they are needed.
3. In the second bag, pack the items that are non-essential. For example, diapers, sweaters, snacks and wipes. This makes it easy for one to keep track of them since one can easily lose them.
4. In the third bag, you can pack bulky things like blankets (for the parade). Such bulky things are required in special places thus when not needed, you can leave them on your stroller.
However, always keep the pricey items with you just in case of theft. It is a rare occurrence but you can never be so sure.
I was Afraid of Height
When Phillip and Jamie had enough of the roller coaster rides, they came back and joined us. Bobby bought ice cream for everyone but the baby. I really wished that it was possible for me to take Alice on a ride but according to the Disney land rules, children are not allowed on any form of Disney transportation if they are sleeping or sitting in strollers.
The next stop was the slides. I did not highly support that since I have a fear of heights but my opinion was overruled by the rest of the family members who ganged up on me.
“Mommy, we are only having fun, nothing will go wrong,” Said Phillip
“Yeah, mom. Plus dad can join us if he wishes to,” Said Jamie.
From where I was standing, it seemed like a planned gang attack. I innocently looked at Bobby expecting him to back me up but all he could manage to say was, “Come on babe, it will be fun.” And so I rested my case and let the boys just be boys.
Alice had already woken up so I had to find a good sitting spot where I could sit with her while watching the boys going down the slides. The activities going on around us seemed to fascinate her most. When Jamie went down the slide she jumped and laughed and as he splashed on the water she loudly produced a noise that seemed as if she was ululating or rather, cheering. Bobby joined us and offered to watch the boys so that Alice and I could go and have some fun. And what better place than riding the cars that were shaped as cups while watching Mickey Mouse and Donald the duck then going for a swing on the elephant swings?
By the time we were leaving, we were so bushed. Alice fell asleep minutes after putting her in the stroller. On our journey back home, all everyone could say is how fun the day was. I however, could only say, “What an amazing day, and thank god for the best strollers!
Kids are a blessing but at the same time, they can be an inconvenience especially if you are working for long hours. When kids come along, many couples go through a rough and tumble of neglecting each other. In most cases, it is the husband who feels ostracized since the mother/wife channels almost all her energy to her kid. However, this doesn’t have to be the case.
First, there are 5 working days out of the 7 days that make up a week. This means that as a couple, you can both select a day that both of you are free and make it your “date” day. That is, no kids, no working, no phone calls, just a day where you can both get away and have some ‘alone’ time.
Second, set days that both of you can manage to go out maybe for a movie or a dance especially after a long and tiresome day. This plays a big role in making both of you feel as if you are still young and madly in love hence it rekindles the flame and spark between the both of you.
Also, recall that kids are a blessing but they would not have come along if both of you had not had intercourse. See, a big challenge that couples have after getting their first kid is losing their sense of intimacy. This tends to create a gap and the husband greatly feels as if he has been replaced. Intimacy always does the magic trick of bringing both of you closer. Time maybe less thus if you have to plan for it that can also be a good solution. Pleasure and satisfaction are like a matchbox and a matchstick, they ignite a fire.
Children are a blessing but so is your love so do not let it die all because of something that came as a result of it.
In the present age, love has become a verb, a satire and most of all, a misused term. Kids now say it all the time to their age-mates who they think they have feelings for but in the real sense, it is just lust. Grown-ups who we were hoping would at least maintain the meaning of the word are better exploiters. However, some have still managed to uphold the value of the term and still go to the extent of making the best out of it by getting married.
Marriage is a union whereby you both agree to be committed to each other, to love each other in good and bad times and most of all, to fulfill each other’s desires. When married, you have someone who you can lean on and a shoulder to cry on when times get rough. After a long or disappointing day at work, you have something to go home to (your spouse). It’s like having a puppy, that is, on getting home, you have something or rather someone that puts a smile on your face and takes your tiresomeness away. When you get ill there is someone to take care of you.
However, arguments and fights are inevitable. Someone once said, “Every day is not a Sunday.” The same theory applies to marriage, not every day will be a day of joy and laughter. Misunderstandings always come up one way or another. Either by both of you not being on the same page or if one of you messes up. The beauty of these fights is that they spice up a relationship and remind the both of you what a blessing it is for you to be together.
Marriage needs energy, commitment, and dedication. But at the end of the day, you feel happy that you have someone to complete you, make you happy and most of all, someone to love you. And that right there is the beauty of marriage.
About the Author
My name is Kimberly, a mother of 3 kids, Phillip, Jamie, and Alice.